Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Ticking by.

Brrr, it's chilly here today!  The wind and rain have been doing their damndest to make sure I stay indoors and leave pruning my roses for a brighter, calmer and hopefully warmer day.  It's probably for the best, because I still have my 'Teddies Worldwide Holiday Show' bears to complete and the days are ticking by ...

The trouble is, after losing Dad in the middle of September, my creative focus seems to have drifted away from me too.  Day to day life is pretty much back to normal, but Dad was a big part of my day-to-day, so it feels as though there is something important missing in the place he used to fill.  I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to pick up the 'phone to him lately, only to have to ask him a question in my head instead - I can usually hear his answer when I do that, but it's just not the same as hearing him hurrumph down the 'phone line after a hearty chuckle. I guess I'm still trying to work out how to come to terms with someone so close, being so impossibly far away now ... and by the way Dad, if you're looking in today, Scrabble just isn't the same without you either.

Don't worry, I'm not falling apart at the seams, I'm just clearing my head onto my keyboard on this wet and wild autumn morning.


  1. Dearest Paula, I'm glad that you took the time to write and "clear your head" today--it's always helpful. You have many, many people wishing you well and sending you love.

  2. Dear Paula,
    It is hard especially when you've had such a close relationship with your Dad, I know how you feel, i still talk to mine and when I go home I can still see him sat in his chair, still see his warm brown eyes and still hear his voice, he was my hero, a real gentleman, made me feel so special and safe.It is hard to go on as before but he is still with you and he'd hate to see you so down. I wish I was closer so we could share a coffee, a biscuit and a loooong chat.
    Take care, chin up.

  3. The love never goes away. He sounds like he was a special dad and man.

  4. Thank you all so much for the warmth of your friendship and for sharing a little of yourselves with me xxx

    Elizabeth, wouldn't that be lovely! You've made me smile at the thought of coffee, a biscuit and a looong chat ... thank you for that xxx


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