Mists and mellow fruitfulness

 

September, mists and mellow fruitfulness

For me, September is a season not only of mists and mellow fruitfulness, it is also the season in which my Dad passed away, one particularly glorious autumnal Saturday morning, fourteen years ago. There was no preparation, no last goodbye, just a simple telephone call to tell me Dad had gone ... and outside my window, the sun still shone like gold, leaves played in the breeze and the day was rich with warmth and autumn colour. 

Dad was a force of nature himself, he had a deep belly laugh and a colourful sense of humour, his was a presence never overlooked. He filled a room and loved an audience. The heart attack that took him from us, stole a man with a huge passion for life that never waned throughout his seventy four years. He was an explorer, a fighter, a big bold bolshy bloke with a firm handshake and a determination to succeed whatever the odds... and of course, he was our Dad, strong, solid and invincible... until he wasn't. Until the phone call. The call that rocked our world.

Over the years, shockwaves slowly eased into a ripple of acceptance and the equilibrium of life realigned with the arrival of a new generation, Dad's Great Grandchildren. Five perfect little people, full of fun, curiosity, talent and a familiar determination to push forward and conquer the challenges of life. I know Dad would be so proud of his new generation. 

And now, a picture of a hand knitted cardigan??? If you have read this far, perhaps you are curious to know why?! I am smiling as I write, because yes, this little cardigan is also part of Dad's story...

On the 12th of September 2024, six days before the fourteenth anniversary of Dad's departure from the mortal coil, a little boy was born into our family. Dad's sixth Great Grandchild. To welcome him, I have been knitting this cosy cable cardigan. We have no other family birthdays in September, so until now, September has been a month of memory... Dad, my Grandmother, my uncle. This September, I have enjoyed knitting for a happy family event!

At last, the beautiful month of September is filled with the joy of a new baby boy. Huge congratulations to his Mummy, my niece and his Daddy.

Welcome to your family little Nathan! 

Guy Fawkes Night

Fireworks are a strange entity for me ... I hate how they frighten my dogs, but since a little girl, have always enjoyed celebrating Guy Fawkes night with my family.  So, after settling my dogs into their beds with cosy fleece blankets, a plug-in herbal calm thingummy and the radio turned up, we headed out into night to a local organised display, completely overdressed for what turned out to be, the mildest of November nights...

My Dad always enjoyed bonfire night and I have happy childhood memories of dressing a 'Guy' in his old pyjamas to sit on the bonfire in the garden. On Guy Fawkes Night, there would be an old biscuit tin in the shed containing a selection of rockets, fountains and Catherine Wheels; Dad would hammer the Catherine Wheels onto the garden fence where they never quite spun freely, but enchanted us kids nonetheless. The fountains usually made a half hearted effort to flare and fizzle at the bottom of the garden and rockets, which were launched from empty milk bottles secured in the flower bed, would either zoom heavenwards leaving a magical trail behind them before landing in our neighbour's gardens, or, more alarming, would shoot unpredictably back across the garden towards we kids, as we ran shrieking away from them as fast as our legs would carry us!

These days we are of course, far more risk averse and sensible, so opt for an organised display for our annual family celebration ... and as I watch my Grandchildren and my grown up children enjoying the sparkling Bonfire Night sky, there is always a moment when I sense my Dad is still enjoying that magical night sky with us.

:-)

Traditional British poem

Remember, remember, the 5th of November

The Gunpowder Treason and plot;
I know of no reason why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.

Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes,
'Twas his intent.
To blow up the King and the Parliament.
Three score barrels of powder below,
Poor old England to overthrow.

By God's providence he was catch'd,
With a dark lantern and burning match
Holloa boys, Holloa boys, let the bells ring
Holloa boys, Holloa boys, God save the King!

Hip hip Hoorah!
Hip hip Hoorah!

A penny loaf to feed ol' Pope,
A farthing cheese to choke him.
A pint of beer to rinse it down,
A faggot of sticks to burn him.

Burn him in a tub of tar.
Burn him like a blazing star.
Burn his body from his head,
Then we'll say: ol' Pope is dead.

:-)

The gift of Autumn

Golden hues and Autumn sunshine are now beginning to cast a beautiful glow over the countryside on my walks and although this beautiful season will always be tinged with sadness for me after the loss of my Dad in the midst of a sensational September nine years ago, somehow his loss has gifted me a greater appreciation of how beautiful Autumn truly is...

12" Chutney

I am so thankful to be able to express my enjoyment of this wonderful season with you, through my bearmaking.

:-)

Update: Chutney has been adopted!

Life is for the living..

I love early Autumn walks, so popped the dogs into my car yesterday morning and headed over to the Woodland Trust for a wander in the Autumn sunshine...

It was very peaceful; the girls enjoyed a good run and plenty of serious sniffing ... there's bunnies in them thar hills ya know! Thankfully, the bunnies stayed snug as bugs, tucked up safely in their burrows.

It wasn't until later that morning, when we arrived home after our lovely walk and I opened the door of my fridge to make myself a coffee and saw a bottle of Chapel Down wine, that I realised the date. September the 18th. Nine years to the day of that breathtakingly beautiful Autumn morning, when I received the telephone call that told me you had gone forever...

And with that sudden intense memory, came a realisation that eventually our world did turn again and life is for the living.. just as you always said it should be. You have never been forgotten Dad and never will be, but I know you would be reassurred to hear, that now, nine years on, we are no longer submerged in unending sadness.

My family and of course, Polly and Betty, gently lifted my soul from the darkness of deep loss and carefully guided me back towards the sunshine over. It is has been a long process and one that probably never quite ends, but it taught me that weaving threads of great sadness through joy, can help the pain of loss ease over time.

And speaking of joy Dad, I hope that somehow you are able to know the Great Grandchildren you never had the chance to meet. My goodness, they are so inquisitive, fiesty and fun! Every so often I catch a glimpse of you in my Grandchildren when I least expect it, a twinkle in their eye, a determination to fathom a problem, a raucous belly laugh...

You so would have loved them!

xxxx

A gaggle of geese

First day back with our dog training group this year and already it's been eventful! Polly worked hard in class this morning, doing a great job of showing off her obedience moves in our local park, before being allowed a free run with her doggy friends. Then, after a quick circuit of the bushes, she took off in the direction of the main lake and the next thing I heard was a splash and indignant squawks from a gaggle of geese as Polly chased them into the lake,  jumping in behind them! By the time I caught up with her ladyship, she had plonked her paws on top of a large piece of wood at the edge of the lake and was waiting helplessly to be rescued. There was nothing for it but to brave the muddy bank and haul madam unceremoniously out by her collar. Needless to say, she thanked me by shaking as hard as possible and soaking me. One thing's for sure, there's never a dull moment when you are a dog owner!

It has been a lively start to Wednesday and Polly and I have had a whale of a time together. She's snoozing at home in the sunny spot now while she dries off - this time after a bath and a banana and mango shampoo.

It would have/should have, been my Dad's 82nd birthday today and I know he would have enjoyed hearing about Polly's antics. I still miss being able to share these simple things with him over a cuppa, or on the telephone, like we used to.

Happy Birthday to you Dad, 

I miss you. 

Love always, 

PJ xxx

Sunshine and Showers

It has been a weekend of mixed emotion, on the one hand a celebration of five years of marriage, but on the other, there is still the sadness of losing my Dad so unexpectedly, one glorious Autumn day, seven years ago.  All in all, the weekend has been a bit like a typical Autumn weather report ... one of sunshine and showers.

Stuart and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary with Polly and Betty, by taking a pleasant walk (lively romp in their case!) through our favourite local park on Saturday. The girls had an absolute blast as we pottered along contentedly in their wake.

We enjoyed a delicious dinner at 'The Windmill', a cosy pub restaurant in Hollingbourne in the evening ...  my goodness that chef sure knows how to tickle tastebuds!

And of course, seven years on without Dad, life is just as he used to say ... it does go on.  Loss has a knack of finding a corner of your soul, burying deep and becoming part of you. Tears still fall from time to time, but joy does return and those forthright words of wisdom only he could give, still come unbidden in quiet moments, when I need them the most.

:-)

My Father's Day Wish

Dear Dad,  

I know you won't mind one bit, if in your absence, I pass my Father's Day wish to your Grandson this year ...

Happy Father's Day Anthony! 

I watched as you and Toby laughed together yesterday, I watched too, as your son was so excited to share his discovery of snails in the shed, with you, his Daddy. I watched when you ran to scoop him into your arms as he fell on our walk to the ice-cream shop and when you carried him and his bicycle, in this flaming June heat, until he was happy to try independence again. Later I watched as you helped him at the dinner table and as you took him for a quiet chat when he needed a little help to remember his manners. I saw you keep your cool when his inner naughty two year old bubbled up and I saw how my grandson listens to you with the love and respect a toddler only ever grants someone he truly trusts. I watched the two of you together and couldn't help but think what a great daddy you have become. 

Toby is one lucky little munchkin to have you (and his very special mummy) guiding him and loving him. 

Happy Father's Day Son.

You make me so very proud.

xxx

September song ...

Another year has slipped by ... we girls talk about you often, laugh at our memories, share them with your Grandchildren and when we feel your loss the most, may still shed a quiet tear, but no worry Dad, life has moved us all forward, just as you would have wanted.  

I watched a nature programme recently and the presenter mused that September was the month for leaving; he meant the skylarks of course, but I thought of you ...

 xxx

What a wonderful world ..

As I stitched on teddy's ears this afternoon, my little orange Roberts' radio crooned the old song 'What a wonderful world' ... I couldn't help but smile because it was a tune my Dad always enjoyed and I remember him singing it when I was a little girl.

And so 'Louis' the teddy was named, a bear christened from a smile, a magical voice, happy memories and a beautiful sentiment.

Update: Louis has been adopted!

xxxXxxx

WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD

Sung by Louis Armstrong 1968

"I see trees of green, red roses too

I see them bloom for me and you

And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white

The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night

And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky

Are also on the faces of people going by

I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do

They're really saying I love you.

I hear babies crying, I watch them grow

They'll learn much more than I'll never know

And I think to myself what a wonderful world

Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world."

Rambling Inspiration

I have been enjoying my garden this summer, planting pots, pruning roses, sitting and breathing the summery scent.  It has been lovely to have my gardening mojo back as it went into hibernation when Dad passed away. Dad lived in a countryside cottage and was a keen gardener, often regaling me with stories of how his plants were doing and what he'd been up to in his garden ... he always preferred to be outdoors rather than in.  I think of him often these days, when I'm pottering in my own garden.  

Anyway, I digress!  Recently, I was admiring a honeysuckle I had planted in a big terracotta pot, in the hope it might climb and disguise a drainpipe.  This summer it climbed high, wrapping that boring black drainpipe with lovely soft green leaves and delighting me with dainty peach and pink flowers.

As often happens, nature kindly provided me with a teddy bear inspiration and my rambling honeysuckle led to 'Honeysuckle', a 19" teddy bear!

Full details for Honeysuckle may now be found on my website. 

I hope you enjoy your visit:

www.allbearbypaula.com

:-)

Update: Honeysuckle has been adopted.

Happy 80th Birthday Dad, from us all xxx

I didn't write a blog post for my Dad's birthday on the 10th of January this year. I didn't forget, I just didn't feel like dwelling on him not being with us to celebrate his 80th, so instead I visited my son and his family, spending the morning laughing, chatting and playing with my Grandson. That afternoon, my husband and I took Polly and Betty out for a good run on 'Big Field', squelching through puddles deep enough to swim in as we battled driving rain. Needless to say my mucky pup Goldie girls had an absolute blast playing in the mud!

So Dad's birthday was a normal Sunday for me, packed with family and outdoors, as most of my Sundays are.  Later in the day though, I felt the urge to catch up with the rest of my family on Facebook.  Dad always enjoyed Facebook.  He would often mention how much he loved being able to keep in touch with his 'girls' and grandchildren via the computer ... and he was a mean online Scrabble opponent too!  My first job of any day was always to turn on my computer, log into Facebook and catch up with Dad's antics on our virtual Scrabble board.  He delighted in beating me!  

How I miss those morning Scrabble games with you Dad.

A rare gem of a family photograph!

Our Dad (blue shirt) celebrating with his sisters and their husbands

Anyway, as I was saying, I turned on the computer, logged into 'Facebook' and found myself strolling down Memory Lane, back through old family photos, photos of my Dad.  As I browsed the few pics I have of him, smiling to myself, I wrote a little birthday message and before I knew it, several of my nieces, my sisters, our Auntie (Dad's sister) and some of Dad's nieces had joined me online from their homes across the South of England and we began to reminisce fondly about Dad, on what should have/would have been, his eightieth birthday.

Sadly I have very few photographs of Dad because I grew up in the days when a camera was a fairly rarely used item in most families, saved mostly for high days and holidays and of course as a youngster, I didn't own any of our family photographs ... so when my younger sister Lynda (blushing bride in the pic below) sent me a virtual 'handful' of the equivalent of dusty old photographs from our younger days, on Sunday night, I was bowled over.  We don't live close to one another these days, so I had no idea those pics had ever been taken!  I think we girls all assumed our Dad would live forever, so it never crossed our minds that photographs of him could and would become so very important to us. Sharing precious 'Dad' photographs and memories on his birthday, brought Dad close to us all again.

We five sisters, with our Dad

I don't say this very often, 

but thank you Facebook.

And special thanks to you Lyn.

And a very Happy 80th Birthday to you Dad,

With love from us all.

Your Family.

 xxx

Remember, remember

My kids may be in their thirties, but they have never been too old to don wellies and celebrate Guy Fawkes night with me ... and happily this year, my Grandson was able to join us for the first time too! 

Watching little Toby wrapped safely in my son's arms, gazing at the sky with smiles and wide-eyed wonder, was a very special treat for me. Sharing traditions with my closest family has always been important.  Thanks kids, for always remembering and never failing to make time.

There is always a moment on Guy Fawkes night, when an especially spectacular firework illuminates the night sky and if I listen hard enough, I can almost hear my Dad's voice over the fizz and crackle.  He would have loved sharing fireworks with his Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren ... he always did enjoy a good Bonfire Night celebration.

Remember, remember, the 5th of November.

Never forgotten Dad xxx

Some Blackberry Crumble

An Autumn memory ... before my youngest sisters were born, Dad would take me and my sister Fiona along the lane near our house to gather blackberries at this time of year.  We carried pails to fill with good intentions, but of course ate more than we saved and arrived home with telltale purple juice stains around our lips and probably bellyache too!

Blackberrying with Grandad

Stuart and I have always enjoyed walking in the countryside with his grandson at this time of year, foraging for blackberries along the way.  When he was little it was fun to show him fruit didn't have to arrive covered in polystyrene trays!  We're looking forward to 'fruity foraging' with our younger grandchildren too, just as soon as they are tall enough to reach the berries safely ... 

13" Blackberry Crumble

For me, Autumn is very much a time for being outdoors with family.  I guess the beauty of childhood memories is that the best ones can frame what  becomes important in our future ... and in my case, can fill teddy bears with happy memories too! 

I finished 'Blackberry Crumble' today.

 I hope he makes you think happy Autumn thoughts.

:-)

Update: Blackberry Crumble has been adopted!

Dear Dad,

Dear Dad,

That fateful September morning when the 'phone rang and our world stopped turning was five years ago today.  Wherever you are, I hope you know we five 'girls' still talk about you often and the words 'Dad would have ...' punctuate our conversation, whenever we are together.

Needless to say, when we are together, we are every bit as loud as ever we were!  Fo 'n Simon invited us to celebrate their wedding in true Hoppé style this year and their special day reminded each one of us of the importance of making more time to spend together ... there is nothing quite like a dance floor and disco tunes to bring sisters together!



Naturally, everyone is busy with their own life these days, but as you always said, it is important not to forget that family is what truly counts in life, so maybe we need to try not to allow quite as much time to slip through our fingers in future ...

Your grandchildren are all doing really well ... yes, all ten of them. They are such a fine crop!  From youngest to oldest, you can rest assured they have all turned out to be vibrant, independent achievers, bright, compassionate, beautiful and interesting. They are so much fun to be around and most definitely grandchildren to be proud of! I think the last picture of the ten of them together, was taken in your garden a good few years ago, so perhaps we should update that, as they are all growing up so fast! Your Great Grandchildren are also beginning to explore the world ... I am sure little Toby will take his first solo steps any day now and would you believe, young Ella has just started nursery school! Fo and I are so proud of this precious pair.

Five years on and I still miss our chats Dad.  Most of all though, I miss being able to sit down quietly with a cuppa, just making make sense of life with you.

Time heals as the saying goes, but it doesn't fill the space.

Love always,

PJ xxx

Congratulations Mr & Mrs Winter!

My sister Fiona's marriage to her long term partner Simon, took place last Saturday.  The service was held in a quaint village church, which has stood fast for many centuries a few steps along the road from their home. The bride and groom opted for a relaxed stroll in the warm sunshine to Church, Fiona's designer heels carried chivalrously by husband-soon-to-be Simon, as she clomped elegantly alongside him in cheery red wellies, clasping a delightful bouquet of sunflowers and red roses.  They looked picture perfect as they arrived to the celebratory peal of St. Giles' church bells.  

The ancient church was filled to capacity with family and friends eager to help Fiona and Simon tie their knot and the congregation looked fabulous in bright, summery outfits, exactly as Fiona had requested. 

Guests arriving at St. Giles

The planning of Fo 'n Simon's wedding has been very much a family affair. One of my favourite pre-wedding tasks was to visit St Giles with my son, daughter-in-law-to-be and Grandson, on the day before the ceremony, to tie children's wellies planted with flowers to the end of each pew. The rows of brightly coloured boots looked absolutely gorgeous as bride and groom walked down the aisle together.  After the service, guests collected the wellies and carried them back to decorate the newlyweds' garden reception.

My son and his beautiful family

There were many 'Wormshill Wedding Committee' planning and preparation meetings during the months prior and no detail was overlooked. In truth, there were moments when we wondered if everything could possibly be achieved in the time available, but with a concerted family and friends' effort, no detail was overlooked. The result was a wonderfully colourful, crafted celebration, with hand painted signage leading guests to the event, hand made garden decorations, invitations, flower arrangements, order of service cards and of course, a hand made teddy bear guestbook. There were even hand decorated glitter champagne flutes with which to toast the happy couple! The official photography was provided courtesy of our sister Tina and garden lighting, marquee and gazebo construction and a superb hand crafted cocktail bar, were erected thanks to the combined building and electrical skills of the men in our family.  Stages designed and built by Groom Simon and his team of family helpers provided flooring for a live band to play our favourite 70's disco tunes and later, for my niece's DJ friend to ensure the music continued through to the wee small hours, so newlywed's and guests could continue to dance the night away on the smart black and white checked dance floor.

Pre-wedding drinks at the Ringlestone Inn, with Fay and Neil

My husband Stuart and I were asked to give readings during the wedding service - Stuart's from the 'Song of Solomon' and mine from AA Milne's 'Winnie the Pooh' (I think I had the easier part of that deal!) So on the day, we left early with my daughter and her boyfriend because traffic reports were threatening another nightmarish day of 'Operation Stack'.  Thankfully our journey was unexpectedly clear and we arrived in the village with plenty of time to spare, so put it to good use in the Ringlestone Inn's lovely garden. A little Dutch courage soon eased away my pre-reading nerves and I am relieved to say, our speeches to the congregation were surprisingly word perfect!

My boys, collecting up the wellies

Meandering back to the garden reception to celebrate

The Church service was a wonderful beginning to Fo 'n Simon's married life, reminding us all of the solemnity of marriage vows and the meaning behind them, but there was also laughter, song and an important sense of family togetherness throughout the ceremony.

The newlyweds wedding dance

After the solemnity of Church, a celebration into the wee small hours, the best way we knew how! So much colour, music, laughter and love, a garden blooming with happiness for the new Mr & Mrs Winter ... and as a thank you to their many guests, a fabulous first dance, in true Hollywood style!

Not only is Simon now my sister's husband, he is also Stepdad to my two nieces and Grandad to my Great niece Ella, on top of which he has been a great friend to me and my family over the past decade; so I would like to mention how delighted I am to have Simon as my official brother-in-law at last! Not so much a welcome to the family, more a recognition of all you have quietly done for our family over the years ... you have always been a part of it.

And my family pic above, for this post not about me, my kids and my little Grandson, instead a nod to Dad and his presence on my sister's special day. Dad loved their home in Wormshill and the candle and glass of red hanging from the tree branch at the bottom of the garden, was their wedding day tribute to him. He would have loved the celebrations and just like his daughters, would have danced the night away given half a chance, but more importantly, he would have been so happy to see his daughter Fiona, married to his good friend Simon.

So to bring this special post to a conclusion ...

Congratulations Mr & Mrs Winter!

Here's to your future together, 

may it be filled with everything your Wedding Day shared with us, 

colour, fun, happiness, family, friendship and love ... 

and in the words of Pooh bear,

“Oh, Bear!” said Christopher Robin. “How I do love you!” 

“So do I,” said Pooh.” 

AA Milne

Giles the Guestbook Bear

xxx