My Father's Day Wish

Dear Dad,  

I know you won't mind one bit, if in your absence, I pass my Father's Day wish to your Grandson this year ...

Happy Father's Day Anthony! 

I watched as you and Toby laughed together yesterday, I watched too, as your son was so excited to share his discovery of snails in the shed, with you, his Daddy. I watched when you ran to scoop him into your arms as he fell on our walk to the ice-cream shop and when you carried him and his bicycle, in this flaming June heat, until he was happy to try independence again. Later I watched as you helped him at the dinner table and as you took him for a quiet chat when he needed a little help to remember his manners. I saw you keep your cool when his inner naughty two year old bubbled up and I saw how my grandson listens to you with the love and respect a toddler only ever grants someone he truly trusts. I watched the two of you together and couldn't help but think what a great daddy you have become. 

Toby is one lucky little munchkin to have you (and his very special mummy) guiding him and loving him. 

Happy Father's Day Son.

You make me so very proud.

xxx

Best Ever Dads

It was Father's Day yesterday and for the fifth year in a row, my four sisters and I either metaphorically, or actually, steered ourselves steadfastly past neat rows of 'Best ever Dad' cards displayed in local supermarkets, towards the relief of a more mundane challenge, that of selecting cold meats and cheese ...

The passage of time paints polite smiles on our faces, smiles which if you look closely, probably don't quite reach our eyes in the way they used to when you were here at the heart of us ... 

Dad, we miss you still xxx

But it's true, life does go on and for the first Father's Day in five years, I had a heartfelt smile in my eyes yesterday ...

My son's first Father's Day.

He is a super Daddy and I am so proud of him.

Happy First Father's Day Anthony.

With Much Love always,

Your Muva xxx

Life goes on ..

Father's Day.

Three and three quarter years on and still not an easy day to get through ... going through the motions as an onlooker rather than as the daughter I was, painting on a cheery smile when deep down, all I truly want to do is tuck myself away somewhere private and sob my heart out, until the day has passed.

But Dad would have been the first to tell me with a twinkle in his eye 'Chin up girl, life goes on' and he would have been absolutely right; so yesterday, my garden was filled with a lively rabble of grandchildren, Stuart's daughter, my daughter - his step-daughter, his parents, brother-in-law and sister ... and of course, my Polly in the thick of it all, having a whale of a time!

Most importantly, Stuart and his Dad shared their Father's Day together.  Just how Father's Day should be.

As for me, I smiled, chatted, took pics, enjoyed the kiddies' games and took a pride in how gentle Polly was with them.  I saved my tears until today, after all, such a huge loss never quite diminishes.  How I miss that lumbering form appearing unexpectedly on my porch step, telling me to 'stick the kettle on PJ' ... and how I miss putting our worlds to right over a steaming hot cuppa. But most of all, like my four sisters, I just miss knowing he's here with us, indomitable, steadfast, strong ... our Dad.

The gift of knowledge

Dad's book was never written.  He catalogued many photographs from his seventy four years on this planet, with the intention of telling his life's story one day soon, but when it came to sitting still and getting the job done, Dad's final Autumn blazed so beautifully, he simply couldn't resist the call of his garden.  In hindsight, I think I knew he had a sense of something significant on the horizon; he told me he needed to finish his book, but wasn't sure he would be around the following year to write it, but Autumn was so glorious in 2010, I laughed off his comment and told him his book would wait until the winter months.  I couldn't imagine a day when he wouldn't be around to enjoy his garden ...

As the years slipped by, it became more and more important to Dad that when the day finally came and he was no longer with us, there would be a record of his life, something to show who he had been, what he had seen and what had been most important to him.

He needed us not to forget him ... as if we ever could.

Dad left us without warning on 18th September 2010 and as I wrote the eulogy for his funeral it became clear to me that although his book was never written, everything Dad truly needed us to know, he had already shown, or told us.

To write his book would have meant temporarily putting real life on hold whilst re-living the past and Dad really wasn't a man to do that.  He was a 'do-er', a larger than life character eager to experience life and carve his niche in the world, not the kind of man to sit down and write a book!

So Dad, don't worry, you never could have been forgotten.  You are with us always and of course we miss you every day ... but not only that ... as your daughters, we celebrate who you were with pride, love and also with the knowledge you shared.

We may not have the written dates and details of your early travels and experiences, but that's not important - what is important is that you were our Dad and you taught us about life in a way no-one else could have done.

Happy Father's Day xxx

Raising a glass to my Dad

Father's Day will be celebrated throughout the UK on Sunday and hopefully great Dads everywhere will be reminded of how special they are to their kids and how much their kids appreciate all they do.

This year will be my second Father's Day without Dad and naturally, that makes me a wee bit sad ... perhaps no longer a weepy wreck like the first, but I guess when you find yourself sat alone on your little stone bench, raising a glass of chilled white wine to the camelia in the corner flower bed, you can safely say, Dad may be gone, but he's far from forgotten ...

Me and my Dad

I miss you Dad xxx

In an English Country Garden

We knew our first 'Father's Day' without Dad wouldn't be easy, so my next-in-line sister Fiona and I, decided to face it with our chins firmly up, just as Dad would have expected of his girls. 

Simon, Fo's other half, came up with a plan to bundle us into his truck with Bugsy the German Shepherd, then drive us to Goddington Place an impressive manor house with beautiful gardens, open to the public on Sundays.

 

 I absolutely loved the formal English gardens, so perfectly planted, with each delightful garden leading through to another.

 

I wish I could share the scent of the lavendar here with you today, but instead you'll have to breathe deeply and imagine it filling the air ...

You know me, I can't leave a flower unphotographed ... and these glorious gardens were so bloomin' beautiful, my little point 'n shoot camera was working overtime!

We packed cagoules and it was as well we had, as every time the sun burst cheerfully through, more heavy clouds rolled in soon after.  It was as if April had arrived in June!

Fortunately, the quintessentially English tea-room, prettily decked out in green and white gingham, was on standby to provide coffee and handmade Victoria Sponge cake ... oh yum!

Fo enjoying a rather large slice of Victoria Sponge heaven!

We walked through rock gardens, past sheltered pools, along green paths lined with imposing yew hedges, we sat on the lawn in warm sunshine with Bugsy, enjoying a falconry display, we gazed at the countryside vista beyond weathered garden walls and finally, moments before the heavens opened, discovered hidden treasure at the end of a wonderful woodland walk ...

For Fiona and me, finding these woodland foxgloves on Father's Day was treasure enough ... Dad, a keen gardener, was so delighted with his own display of these stately bells last summer, it was impossible not to smile when we stumbled across some yesterday.

Foxgloves weren't the only secret this lovely garden had to offer though!  But I'm not going to spoil the fun of discovering Doddington Place's secrets, so if you have an hour or two spare on a Summer's Sunday afternoon, why not visit and discover them for yourself!

 Fo, Simon and Bugsy

Thanks for yesterday you three, I'm so glad we were able to share Father's Day together x